Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
