its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
