I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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