Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
