his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
