I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
