Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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