She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
