come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize