As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
