you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
