she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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