ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
