omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
