since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't deserve a penis
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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