Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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