it wasn't lemon gatorade
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
