Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
