Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
