jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
