That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
