You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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