Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
