Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
