All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
