My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
These tits shall not be calmed
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
