I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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