Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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