Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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