Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
