I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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