she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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