I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
