Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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