There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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