When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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