return my video game
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
