ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
