Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
