Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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