so that wasnt chicken after all
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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