She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
