don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
