So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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