yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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