Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
