hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
