Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
