Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
