the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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