i will never coherently bang her
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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