at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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