Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
